so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
