My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
