If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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