on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
