i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
