Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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