Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
