do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
