omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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