whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
