Well apparently he's into motor boating.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize