come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
