Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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