My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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