I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
