Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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