ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
