I think I died a long time ago.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize
