but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize