She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
