youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
