fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
