Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
