ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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