we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
