kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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