They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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