We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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