dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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