I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
