I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
NoShamevember. You game?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
