Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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