Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
