my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
