Four minutes until I can fart!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
