Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I had to cum in my sink.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
