And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
