If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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