I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
well you can't waste a boner
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
