Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
