After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
