about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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