and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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