If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
