you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
