She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
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