I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
handjob tips. give me some.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
