you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
