she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize