It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
