just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
