His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
