if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My cat gives me a boner
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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