actually, I'm a sock model
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
