you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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