So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
