you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Well I just put wine in my tea
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
