Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We're too hungover to prance.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
