meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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