Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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