Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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