the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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