garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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