Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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