hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Acid is not a monday night drug
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Randomize
