If i come over, it means nothing
either way he was missing a nipple.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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