you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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