Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
