Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
