ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
