On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
