You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
