I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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