yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
