He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
