Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
