To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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