found the other keg... it's in the tree
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
