How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
