Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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