How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
