pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
