I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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