i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
